Preseason Report Card

Grabbed this from another site but it has good info!

Is the NFL ready for its own Tampa Bay Rays? The Patriots have been the gold
standard, but with Tom Brady hurt they look old and disinterested. Who knows
what’s going on with Peyton Manning’s knee? Pro Bowl defensive end Osi Umenyiora
is done for the year and there is noise in New York about trying to lure Michael
Strahan out of retirement. The winds of change may be blowing as the NFL counts
down to the Sept. 4 opener. An early look at teams that figure to get out of the
gate quickly, and some that might not:

NFC
EAST

Has any Super Bowl champion ever gotten less love than
these Giants? You beat the 18-0 Patriots one day, and 24 hours later the wise
guys are saying you won’t even make the playoffs next season. The press in New
York wants Michael Strahan to come out of retirement to shore up the banged-up
defensive line.

OFF TO A FAST START –Dallas Cowboys- There’s a bit of a
problem at WR, where Terry Glenn’s departure could force Terrell Owens to catch
more balls in traffic. And you wonder how long Tony Romo will survive by running
around. Still, the Cowboys have the most talent in the division and the early
going isn’t exactly Normandy.

STICK A FORK IN . . . the Eagles. There are
always issues with Arlen Specter’s homies. Brian Westbrook has a new contract,
but he’s touched the ball 1,461 times (carries and receptions) over six seasons.
Eagle fans will learn that Asante Samuel gambles a bit too much and can give up
big plays.

NFC SOUTH

Ok, it was only an
exhibition. But Tampa Bay was going up against the Patriots’ starting Front 7 in
the second preseason game, and the Bucs dominated. If New Orleans can’t figure
out what went wrong last year, and fix it, Tampa can go 9-7 again and steal this
division. Fans in Florida were shocked when reserve safety Donte Nicholson was
tasered and arrested during a late-July scuffle with police at a St. Petersburg
nightclub. Who knew St. Petersburg had nightclubs?

OFF TO A FAST START –
Just a guess here - New Orleans. The Saints have moved the ball well in
exhibitions, Jeremy Shockey should behave for at least a few months before
mouthing off, and maybe Reggie Bush will finally get it. The opener, at home
against the Bucs, could set the tone for the season.

STICK A FORK IN . .
. the Falcons. Who else? Jim Plunkett was tossed around like a rag doll early in
his career but survived. Hopefully Matt Ryan will stay off the operating table
long enough to figure out NFL defenses.

NFC
WEST

You know you’ve had a bad season when San Francisco and
Arizona are in your division, and you still finish last. But the Rams have been
dead in the water since losing to Carolina in the 2003 playoffs, going 25-39
since that day. Maybe the team is suffering from perpetual jet lag, since it has
to travel halfway across the country for division roads games at San Francisco,
Arizona and Seattle.

OFF TO A FAST START – Seattle Seahawks– Seattle
plays like manure in big road games, and the Seahawks are at the Giants in Game
4. But if they can get by the opener in Buffalo, they have two layups at home
(49ers, Rams) and would be 3-0 with lots of momentum heading into the Giants
game. Health of Matt Hasselbeck and wide receivers is a huge concern,
though.

STICK A FORK IN . . . the Arizona Cardinals. On paper these guys
should be all right. But WR Anquan Boldin is trying to shoot his way out of
town, and Matt Leinart hasn’t shown that he’s mature enough to be the starting
quarterback on a team ready to make a playoff run.

NFC
NORTH

Does anyone have Spergon Wynn’s cell phone number? This
division is desperate for a quarterback. Brett You-Know-Who has taken his act to
New York, and basically that leaves us with the Pips minus Gladys Knight. Aaron
Rogers may or may not be ready, Jon Kitna throws way too many INTs, Tavaris
Jackson is hurting and the Bears could barely make up their mind between Rex
Grossman and Kyle Orton.

OFF TO A FAST START - Detroit Lions (?!) - The
door is wide open for Rod Marinelli’s Lions. Incredibly, the Lions do not face a
top-quality quarterback until Dec. 14 at Indianapolis. They could actually be
good enough to keep people awake on the couch after Thanksgiving dinner. That
2-6 road record has to improve, though.

STICK A FORK IN . . . da Bears.
The offensive and defensive lines are a mess, and the running game is a work in
progress. They might be outscored by the Chicago Fire this season.

AFC
EAST

Red flags are up from Montpelier to Cape Cod after the
Patriots mailed in three exhibition losses. But can the Jets or Bills make a
serious run at the Tyrannosaurus Rexes of the NFL? It’s an axiom in politics
that you can’t beat somebody with nobody, and that applies here. Brett Favre is
a nice addition, but aren’t the Jets morphing into the old Redskins by signing
every over-the-hill veteran on the market? The Dolphins appear light years from
contending, and Buffalo/Toronto will continue to be a tough out but doesn’t
appear to have enough juice offensively to make the playoffs.

OUT OF THE
GATE FAST – New England Patriots - First four opponents: KC, Jets, Dolphins and
49ers. That’s all you need to know. According to one publication’s mathematical
formula, New England has the easiest schedule of any team since 1992, which
should soften any dropoff.

STICK A FORK IN . . . the Dolphins. San Diego
in the opener. Ugh. On a positive note, Ricky Williams is reportedly playing
well.

NFC SOUTH

How can you not like the Jaguars?
They play hard, they don’t whine, they work in the weight room. You know they
went to see “300” and not “Sex and the City.” Beating Pittsburgh and New England
back-to-back on the road in the playoffs last year was just too high a hill to
climb. They’re not going away.

OUT OF THE GATE FAST – Indianapolis Colts,
assuming Peyton Manning is OK. But if the Colts head into November at less than
5-2, there is a very uncomfortable five-game stretch that includes a home game
against New England and road grinders at Pittsburgh, San Diego and
Cleveland.

STICK A FORK IN . . . nobody. OK, if you crave negativity,
defenses might figure out that Tennessee’s Vince Young is not developing as fast
as everyone in Music City wants. But come on. The Titans went 10-6 last year
without Pacman Jones (or maybe because he was gone). As mathematically
impossible as it sounds, every team might be at least .500 against this
season.

AFC WEST

Everyone seems to like the
Chargers, and a benign early-season schedule should grease the skids for them.
But there’s something about those guys that makes me a bit queasy. Can’t Philip
Rivers shut his mouth and play? Did LaDainian Tomlimson have to spend that
entire AFC Championship Game planted on the bench with his helmet on? When (or
is) Shawne Merriman coming back?

OFF TO A FAST START – San Diego
Chargers. It’s hard to figure out a scenario in which the Chargers don’t win
this division. All they have to do is survive early; the last part of the
schedule includes a slew of bottom-feeders.

STICK A FORK IN . . . the
Denver Broncos. Consider this: Denver gave up almost as many points as the
Dolphins did last season, including 44 to Detroit. And they resorted to signing
37-year-old Tyrone Poole to shore up a secondary that is already banged up. If
you’re thinking the Chiefs should be here instead, note that they have Oakland
at home in Week 2 and are at Atlanta in Week 3.

AFC
NORTH

OK, you give Derek Anderson a ton of money in the
offseason, commit to him as your QB and then allow him to get knocked senseless
in an exhibition. There’s good reason the Browns have never been to a Super
Bowl. Not much is settled in this division. Everyone plays each other early
before crossover games start against the NFC East and it’s possible that every
team could be 2-2 at the quarter pole. The only thing certain here is that this
division will not produce a wild card team.

OUT OF THE GATE FAST – The
best bet would be Pittsburgh, which at least has a stable quarterback. Baltimore
hasn’t had any traction since the Super Bowl in 2001, Cleveland’s defense
doesn’t appear as strong as advertised, and Cincinnati, as always, is a
mess.

STICK A FORK IN … the Ravens. Don’t you get the feeling that every
football, hockey, basketball and baseball franchise in the Baltimore/Washington
corridor is stuck in
quicksand?